"I know you're busy but..."

The nature of my job, in the marketing department here, is such that I'm often subject to cold calls from all kinds of agencies, media owners and printers (amongst others). Now I understand they have a job to do, but is it really necessary for them to go about it in such a banal and phoney way?

(Disclaimer: of course this is my view and not that of my employer... blah, blah, blah.)

It's getting so bad that I've taken to doing this...

...now this isn't good - it sort of defeats the idea of having a phone - my mum might want to call me or something.

So, in the spirit of constructive criticism...

...I've decided to put together a list of 'cold calling Paul Colman do's and don'ts'.

1.Be interesting (thinking about this I think I mean be yourself, not fake and overly chatty).

2. Be interested - you called me! Know me, know our company, know the brand, know something; have a view, even if it's wrong just have something to add.

3. Smile.

4. Describing your agency as 'through the line", "integrated", "media neutral", or similar, is pointlessly meaningless and somewhat depressing (especially at 11.52am on an ordinary Thursday).

5. Be nice, but not too nice - we're not going out for dinner, we're just talking about marketing.

6. Be different (that means don't talk like an estate agent).

7. Don't ask me how my weekend was, I generally don't do anything that interesting, and I'm certainly not bothered about what you did at the weekend.

8. Don't suggest getting a meeting in the diary with me and your mysterious boss (who is clearly too busy to call me himself) is the pinnacle of your career, it just sounds desperate.

9. Follow up the call with something personal, something you learnt, something provocative - make me want to call you back.

10. If you believe that you really do have an idea, a service or something else that could transform our business then don't give up.

Speak to you tomorrow.

Comments

[neil]

Interesting. From an agency perspective we actually get quite a lot of rubbish cold calls too. (But probably not as many as you.)I always try to be directly accessible rather than filtering calls through an assistant. The idea is that this hopefully makes me seem less of a corporate wanker. The downside of this policy is I sometimes have to talk to characters who sound as if they failed the auditions for the Apprentice and who inform me that our agency has been specially requested by some top, top clients to attend an exclusive (and expensive) event that unites these top clients and their massive budgets with a very small number of agencies that they're desperate to give business to. So who are these top clients? Well, they generally seem to be representatives of companies that are direct competitors of our clients. Or sometimes they are even representatives of our existing clients. If they're so desperate to meet with us, why not give me a call?

[Colman]

I'd argue that the antithesis of corporate wanker is not open, available, nice guy, but something more subtle - honest, no bullshit and straight talking maybe. That's what I try to do. Though I suspect that I tend to come across as grumpy, difficult and impatient.

[Colman]

Suppose I'm saying that I don't mind being seen as a wanker. Just as long as it's not a corporate wanker.

[Ben]

I generally just hang up.

[LeeroyB]

Next time they call Just say yes, I'd love to meet your boss, I had a great weekend, I'd love you to print some leaflets for me and yes our budget is big enough to pay you twice as much as we usually pay for all of our marketing.
Then say, Only joking and put the phone down.
Job done, you are thought of as a wanker, but only by real wankers who's opinions don't count. Everyone else thinks you're as cool as a red socked cucumber.

[Richard]

cold calling blog made me laugh. Thanks for that

R

[Colman]

Had 3 cold calls this morning, all reasonable and well handled...can the blog be that widely read?