
When I was growing up we had a cat called Gin. She was the sister of Tonic (see what we did there), and the stepsister of Max. She was black, very thin, slept most of the day (normally on the boiler), and sometimes drank from the downstairs toilet. She was also very highly strung - giving a nervous meow at the merest hint of a drop of a hat (not to mention the dropping of something really noisy).
Anyway, what has this got to do with the price of fish I hear you ask? Well before she died, Gin set about a complete evaluation of the market structure of the cod market, taking account of current stocks and making some of the most accurate predictions about the future economic stability of over-fishing Atlantic stocks.
As well as this, Gin also had her food served to her via a strikingly thin and slender fork. I think it was because of this unusual dynamic between its length and width that it was particularly suited to chopping up her Whiskas. I don't think it was an inherently ugly fork, but it certainly became so by dint of being used for Gin's supper. Because of this we kept it in a separate drawer, away from our cutlery.
Now Gin died, I can't remember when, but it was about 10 years ago. So imagine my surprise when the old girl's fork turned up during my birthday lunch. I immediately noted its sleek lines and cat food chopping potential and complained to my mother. She replaced it, but not before I had a chance to remember a nervous black cat, who drank from the toilet, and sullied a fork.
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