I've got a big announcement to make. Costa Coffee have contacted me and offered me a huge some of money to become the face of their coffee chain (I won't reveal the cash figure, that would be base, but it's in the region of two figures).
It won't change the content of what I write about, although I would like to point out that in my opinion good content is generally fuelled by a delicious skinny capuaccinio, which has been quality checked at every stage of the production process.
The deal was sealed in the company of my lawyer, Mr. J. Gauld.
He seemed quite shocked by the sums of money that were being discussed, but an aromatic peppermint tea soon sorted that out.
Ciao for now.
(Ps. This whole post is bullshit. I don't know why I wrote it. I don't even drink coffee. Sorry.)
ha!..nutter..
Posted by: lauren | 11/12/2007 at 11:57 PM
Err...
Posted by: Paul H. Colman | 11/13/2007 at 09:33 AM
More like this please.
Posted by: Ben | 11/13/2007 at 01:19 PM
You mean more in the vain of: nothing about nothing?
Posted by: Paul H. Colman | 11/13/2007 at 02:23 PM
I find that aromatic peppermint tea sorts most things out.
Posted by: henry lambert | 11/13/2007 at 02:33 PM
Damn it Paul !!!!!!
I was going to do a spoof about being chosen as the new face of 'SAGA' - now you've gone and spoilt it..........
(true to say though you had Joanski and me going there for a minute !!!)
Posted by: Harry C | 11/13/2007 at 03:59 PM
Specifically I mean more pictures of you out and about in the world.
Posted by: Ben | 11/13/2007 at 04:59 PM
just like that. back on form.
Posted by: beeker | 11/13/2007 at 06:21 PM
Sorry, Dad. But these things happen.
Ben & Beeker, it comes and goes, it ebbs and it flows.
Posted by: Paul H. Colman | 11/13/2007 at 07:09 PM
I had you down as a Pret man.
Posted by: claire | 11/14/2007 at 07:15 PM
They wouldn't deliver the bucks, so we stopped talking.
Posted by: Paul H. Colman | 11/15/2007 at 08:38 AM
Having just read this post, I can honestly say you should charge that coffee establishment an outrageous fortune for single handidly improving the image of their brand.
No longer do I regard them as a bunch of faux-Iti coffee merchants whose only ability is to consistently burn coffee and charge increasing amounts for it - I see them as the place where Mr Colman went a teensy bit mad and wrote one of his funniest posts in ages.
That's actually meant as a compliment incase it was hidden too much under my usual rubbish!
Posted by: Rob @ Cynic | 11/17/2007 at 02:39 AM
Thank you for your kind words, Rob. But I wouldn't change your opinion too much - we only went there because it was on the way to the tube.
Posted by: Paul H. Colman | 11/17/2007 at 11:55 AM
In that case, they're a bunch of bastards and will never get a penny from me again. [Unless on the way to the tube!]
Posted by: Rob @ Cynic | 11/17/2007 at 12:54 PM
You're a wise man, Rob.
Posted by: Paul H. Colman | 11/17/2007 at 09:44 PM