Life in the middle

What's to do in Delhi on a Saturday?

In theory today was supposed to be a rest day, and while we did spend a lot time in the office, it was also a chance to get a feel for what the average resident gets up to on a Saturday in Delhi.

On Saturday the man who looks after my room waits in the hallway, right until I need to use the room, he then pops out of a nearby room and runs into mine. He gets me every time.

I presumed the concierge would have the day off. In fact it's the only day he works. Who would have thought.

It was a nice moment. He even seemed to supply some kind of map, I'm not sure it was a map of Delhi, but this is about baby steps.

Next it was out to get a cab. Usually this is a very serious affair, handled in the most professional of ways, but not today, not on Saturday. Nope it's Tom Foolery all the way.

 

Lovely. Then it was off to the office for the morning. We arrived looking superb in a car we'd bought off eBay (including driver), Alex in particular seemed very pleased with our new purchase (it suits him).

After work I explored the other things Delhi offers at the weekend. You can play avoid the massive dangerous hole in the pavement.

You wouldn't want to fall in there.

 

Or, if you're the dashing type, then perhaps you might think about entering the Mr & Mrs Delhi competition (although the candidates look pretty handsome, so think twice unless you're super gorgeous).

For the animal lover, there is horse riding. And you know what, there is no better place than downtown Delhi for a ride, trust me. The horses love the cars.

 

Or maybe you'd simply want to find somewhere quiet to sit down, roll up one leg of your trousers, and have a scan through the paper, and maybe a look at the day. Of course there are loads of places in Delhi to do that.

Finally you could just find the Delhi resident with the hairstyle most like Princess Diana, that's what I decided to do. He loves having his picture taken, just like the Queen Of Hearts did.

As you can see there is lots to do. Almost too much. I'm going to forward this email to the Indian tourist board, then sit back and watch the economy ignite.

Thank you Delhi for being the best fun within 2 miles of the Ganges.

It's just another day in India, or is it?

Evening, and hello again from India. It's been another full day of Indian adventures. I thought I'd be ready no matter 'what the concierge is up to' threw at me this morning, I was wrong. I wasn't ready for this.

Now I'm no sexist, but this just didn't seem right - too radical a change, maybe it was the green. I decided all I could do was breathe and get myself some breakfast, and hope good sense would prevail and the hotel management would do something, anything. And they did.

 

I could only vaguely make out what he was saying to her, but the gist seemed to be that it was fine to stand near the desk, but under no circumstances was she to use the chair. It seemed to be getting nasty so I got out of there, and back to the safety of my room.

When I came down I was pleased to see normal order had been restored, although he didn't looked too fussed by The Weakest Link today, I think it was a repeat.

Relieved, we set off for the office. Choosing a taxi with a grey steering wheel.

I talked to the driver about relocating this blog permanently to the back seat of his cab, but he thought the idea so stupid that he only sneered at everything I said after that, I think he thought I was taking the piss.

Soon we were at the office and it was full steam ahead, heads down - no looking up, first one to do so buys the flowers.

Of course it was me that looked up first, though in my defense it was to make a grand strategic gesture, to stun the room, and to define the work.

And I did that. I achieved strategic greatness, and I also bought the flowers.

Once back in the hotel, after delivering the flowers, I headed to the concierge desk to see what was cooking. Things had got worse.

She was back, and she seemed to have two minders for protection. I, along with some of the staff, had seriously underestimated her desire to take over the desk. I don't know where this is going to end, but for good or for ill I'm sticking with it.

After the shock of it all I went back to working. Alex stayed close to the telly, it seemed like the only sensible thing to do.

It's been a difficult day, I'm already worried about what tomorrow will bring, but such is life.

Good evening.

Helio Gracie dies.

Helio Gracie, one of the founders of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, has died aged 95.

Without Helio there would have been no Mixed Martial Arts as we know it. No Ultimate Fighting Championships. And I would never have spent my weekends, and as many evenings as I could, learning to choke, arm-bar, punch, and wrestle. He changed martial arts forever, and set about a series of events that have started to change sport forever.

But more importantly, with the correct attitude and application he allowed the weak to have a chance against the strong - to create belief out of doubt. I never met him personally although in my early years of training I sparred and trained many times with his son Royce. And whenever we'd ask Royce who was the toughest fighter he'd ever fought, he'd always say his father. He used to say that although he was a tiny, weak, old man, he was also as tough as nails - the inventor of so many techniques that you never knew what was coming.

Goodbye Helio, and thanks.

Today in India.

There is a lot to get through today, so let's get started. I bet I can guess the first question you all want answered - 'what was the concierge up to today?' Well he started with a bit of a shocker - I went down for an early chat, but he was nowhere to be seen.

The rumour around the lobby was that he had an impacted colon and had been forced to spend the first hour of the day 'clearing the system', but I can't confirm that. All I know is that within the hour he was back, as if nothing had happened - taking calls like the pro that he is.

Then it was off to the office, stopping of course to oblige photo requests from fans of the blog (I like to give a little something back, especially if, as he did, they describe the blog as "one of the more important and significant things in my life" - sweet guy).

Each day I like to choose a taxi with a different coloured steering wheel to take me to the office, today it was green.

Once in the office it was down to business. I blend into the surroundings.

Alex not so much (I think it's the sunglasses).

 

The afternoon meant getting down to business, and visiting one of our clients. And that meant another taxi ride. This time I chose a black steering wheel.

 

Our client is a start-up IT company run by Martin The Dog. He speaks no Indian (or English), and knows nothing about IT. It's tough brief, but none-the-less it was great to meet him in the flesh.

Then it was back to the office, and although we were pushed for time we still managed to stop and see India's famous 'big empty shopping mall', it's quite something when you see it in real life.

Back in the office we brainstormed for a strategy, thinking about how we should tackle Martin's problems. And decided there was only one way to do it that would capture the essence of what he's trying to achieve in the Indian market.

Finally, having cracked the brief, it was back to the hotel, and the answer to what the concierge was up to. And he was pretty active in the six hours I spend observing him before dinner. He signed a new contract of employment (apparently other hotels have been desperately trying to poach him).

And he admitted to anyone who'd listen that yes, he had in fact had a small screen inserted into his desk so that he could watch 'The Weakest Link'.

 

In other, non-photographed news, I saw a dead body by the side of the road, and an old lady vomiting.

Apart from that, not too much to report.

India, so far.

Hi, I'm in India, with Alex from work (you know Alex - the one with the beard). We haven't even been here 24 hours yet and already a lot has happened. It started on the plane where we were given the seats right outside the cockpit.

As is standard under these circumstances, I wished the pilots best of luck taking off in the thick fog surrounding the airport, told them we were all counting on them, and then occasionally banged on the door shouting "pull up!"

Once landed we made our way to our hotel. The rooms are nice, you have a choice of pillow.

And eating apples is encouraged (there is a little sign explaining why apples are good, it's a nice touch, but I don't think apples are ever likely to catch on in any big way).

I've also developed a new game called 'what the concierge is doing'

Sometimes he's checking his mobile, and probably forwarding an amusing joke to a mate.

 

Other times he's fielding calls from his landline. He takes this side of his job very seriously.

He's even forced to occasionally pretend that he hasn't noticed that another member of staff is openly going through his draws.

But he's happiest when he's got a pile of blank paper in front of him, when he can hunch his shoulders together and pretend he's President Nixon.

He's really quite a guy. I'll keep my eye on him for the duration of the trip.

In other news we...

...visited Wieden+Kennedy India (and stood outside).

And wore aprons.

They looked a bit stupid, but it's how you fit in around here.

God knows what tomorrow will bring. All I know is that no matter what it is, we won't be ready.

Onwards and down.

What I carry when I cycle.

I'm preparing my bag, to cycle in the morning. I have an early start tomorrow so I thought it best to get prepared now rather than in the morning. As you can see, there is a lot to get ready.

To be exact, there is:

One book.
One bike pump.
One allen key (multiple sizes).
One (clean) pair of pants.
One pair of red socks.
One jumper.
One t-shirt.
One razor (not sure what that's doing there, I never shave at work).
One bike tool (those things they sell you when you buy a bike, but never learn how to use).
One can of deodorant.
One small moleskin notebook (full of drivel).
One Nutri-Grain (in case of sugar lows, or, charging bears).
One waterproof cycling jacket.
One heart rate monitor (with watch).
One pair of waterproof gloves.
One waterproof rucksack cover (with a hole in it).
Lots of chewing gum.
One wallet.
My passport (including a 180 access visa for India).
Two ipods.
One tube of moisturizer (err...).
Some keys.
A pen (red).
More chewing gum.
One dongle, to connect a mac to a projector.

It would appear that quite a lot of stuff is required to make it through life in the middle, especially when traveling by bike.

I wonder if there is anything I've forgotten..?

(Oh, and a pair of jeans, with belt.)

Easing into the weekend and fighting the recession.

It's a busy and stressful time at work, and the world is slipping into some sort of financial hangover. What's more, I read in today's Guardian that we're one of the least happy nations in Europe (I can't find the link, so you'll have to trust me). Things generally feel like they're heading south.

But I feel okay today. It's been a reasonably enjoyable 24hours. I think I might have the recession on the back foot.

I started my fight back by chewing the fat with JFC (Julian Francis Cheevers), who sits next to me at work. He has some wonderful stories of his time as a junior account man on Frosties and Daz, and all high japes that surrounded that time of his life.

We were also joined by Graeme Douglas. Who we've renamed Doug E Fresh. We insist that he sits in a throne wherever possible, (I think he's happy with both decisions).

Then I met two old friends for a beverage and a curry. Mr. David Young, he of the bike, was happy to stand still with his mouth slightly open while I took a picture.

Miss Piper preferred to strike a more traditional pose, and even chucked in a smile for good measure.

So things seemed to be going in my favour. And I've tried to keep it going today. Cereal and a mug of tea for breakfast, and a bit of read.

I'm stilling feeling reasonable content.

I'm not sure it's a plan that can be rolled out nationally to beat the recession (David Young is a busy man), but I think there might be some broad principles in there that everyone can share.

Altogether now (one, two, three)  "WHAT RECESSION?"

Glimpse.

The best thing about people is that they'll miss the girl on the bus (whoever she is). That of all the things that pass through our busy lives it's sometimes the glimpses, the could-have-beens, that mean the most.

I hope the move goes well and they find someone new.

Hopefully.

Weekends are for.

The weekend is almost behind us and the week ahead is looming, but before I look into its eyes here are some moments just gone.

I had a pizza on Friday at Pizza Express, which was nice - I like their pizzas. But there is always one thing that slightly ruins the experience for me - their knives. Look at the knife in that picture, it's a normal knife, good for butter and other soft stuff. But pizzas are tough to cut. I'm thinking of getting a petition started, to lobby for sharper knives. They need them if they want to keep me happy (which traditional marketing theory suggests they do).

Saturday I visited with Farnsworth. She was as sleek and welcoming as ever and kept me company while my sister rustled up some sort of lunch situation. I think she was sad when I left, although she hid it cleverly by pretending to be asleep under the table.

Sunday is early morning coffee day with Russell. I call it coffee day even though I never have coffee. I have tea. But going for coffee some how sounds better than going for tea. Anyhow, it was as good as ever. Drunks, tramps, and the emergency services are always out in Soho early Sunday morning, and they're our kind of people, so we blend in and right the wrongs of society.

Finally, an announcement: Big Yellow has been back in contact.

(Dramatic pause.)

No promises have been made, but the lines of communication are back open, which is exciting. Knowing that I may need to move quickly if they give me the green light to implement operation 'do something about the promises I keep making', I've assembled a team to think about things, and to generally look impressive for the media.

And here we are...

I'm in charge of something, Graeme Douglas is in charge of something else, and Julian just wanted to be in the picture (although we'll find a role for him by putting him in charge of something).

Look at us - don't we look like glorious bastards who are ready to change the world of storage forever, or something.

Ps. If anyone else who wants to join the team, then leave a comment, and take your shoes off.