I've been wondering for a long time how I was going to give 24,266,880 people in the United Kingdom aged over 18 the chance to discover this blog for themselves. A chance to luxuriate in its insight and intelligence. To read about what I've been up to, and perhaps say 'good morning' to me, and both of you, in the comments section.
Today I was delighted to discover that the popular website Facebook offers just such a service, see...
This is great, obviously. But to do it I'll need some advertising (there's no such thing as a free lunch). Now luckily Facebook offer just such a service, plus I'm one of the world's best advertising people. So I've put together an ad.
It's a pretty simple ad, a bit like those VW ones from ages ago, but I think it will bring millions of people to this blog pretty easily. That's my plan. Millions. Then I'm going to tell those millions of people about what I've been up to.
Anyway, to do this Facebook want to charge me $500 (that's United States dollars). I don't have this since I paid the builder thousands of pounds to destroy my house. So I'm turning to you lot, and the lot connected to you lot. We just need 500 people to donate $1 (US dollar), or 1 person to donate $500 (US dollars). That shouldn't take too long. To help ease the giving Graeme Douglas suggested I set up a Chipin page, which I've done.
All that remains is for you lot to give money. For me to finesse my advert, and to prepare for the arrival of millions of people.
God bless you all.
(UPDATE: if this goes well then I'm going to do a Superbowl telly ad next year.)
Do you take Diners Club?
Posted by: Patrick | 01/26/2011 at 08:52 PM
twonk
Posted by: Kevin Godwin Chaucer Chesters | 01/26/2011 at 08:52 PM
OMG that is a fucking brilliant idea. You've smashed it. Again.
I've just donated my dollar. Worth every cent and it's not often I get to say that.
Posted by: Ben | 01/26/2011 at 08:53 PM
Paddy, God knows, I just do the jokes.
Evening, Kev.
Posted by: Colman | 01/26/2011 at 08:54 PM
Oh, hi, Ben.
Thanks for your support.
I'm thinking of contacting Big Yellow and seeing if they want to talk again, it feels like it's time.
Posted by: Colman | 01/26/2011 at 08:59 PM
They've been quiet haven't they? This feels like something they could really get hold of. They're big on social curation.
Although there was that thing about you "giving them the finger", remember?
Posted by: Ben | 01/26/2011 at 09:02 PM
Intrigued but can you firs please promise this endeavor will ultimately become a book, keynote topic at a media conference, a new agency model or sitcom idea for the 2012 fall line of last place US network NBC. Thx.
Posted by: Brett T. T. Macfarlane | 01/26/2011 at 09:05 PM
I can't say too much about it, but I'm hoping to bring Richard Keys on board in the morning, that ought to help them get over the finger thing.
Posted by: Colman | 01/26/2011 at 09:05 PM
Brett, do you really have to ask?
I'm getting t-shirts printed tonight.
Posted by: Colman | 01/26/2011 at 09:07 PM
Excellent. I've made a call to my media buyer.
Posted by: Brett T. T. Macfarlane | 01/26/2011 at 09:13 PM
Who was Kev calling a twonk, you or me?
Posted by: Paddy | 01/26/2011 at 09:14 PM
Thanks, man.
Posted by: Colman | 01/26/2011 at 09:14 PM
God knows, Paddy, I'm able to tune him out.
Posted by: Colman | 01/26/2011 at 09:15 PM
Where the fuck is Fresh? Not moaning about being fucking late home again? We need him on this. He has contacts in the media.
Posted by: Ben | 01/26/2011 at 09:17 PM
And Tash.
Posted by: Ben | 01/26/2011 at 09:17 PM
You need to give people a badge for donating - you know gamify the campaign.
Posted by: Tobybarnes | 01/26/2011 at 09:21 PM
Ben, he'll be here in a minute, he's stuck in the toilet at KFC.
Toby, they'll be hugs not badges - think 2007.
Posted by: Colman | 01/26/2011 at 09:24 PM
Hey, I'm in on the Superbowl ad too. Is that $2?
Posted by: Ben | 01/26/2011 at 09:35 PM
I don't have any dollars, do you accept pounds?
Posted by: Topfife | 01/26/2011 at 09:35 PM
Hi Topfife, probably.
Although you need to write in if you want a receipt.
Posted by: Colman | 01/26/2011 at 09:39 PM
No Ben, you'll need to put in $50k for that.
Posted by: Colman | 01/26/2011 at 09:40 PM
an important and timely post.
Posted by: marcus | 01/26/2011 at 10:01 PM
I know, Marcus, I know.
Posted by: Colman | 01/26/2011 at 10:02 PM
I'll be honest, I'm worried this blog will change once the 24 million kids arrive. You still have my $1 though, Paul :(
Posted by: Age | 01/26/2011 at 10:05 PM
Hey Age, I just don't think it will change.
Although I am now in talks with a media company about selling up.
Anyways...
Posted by: Colman | 01/26/2011 at 10:12 PM
Remember when you gave a bike away? Your mate David won it.
Happy days.
Posted by: Ben | 01/26/2011 at 10:46 PM
Liking your angle. We should do lunch.
Posted by: Zuck | 01/26/2011 at 10:50 PM
That bike was eventually stolen, which took him ages to get over.
In the end I just had to give him a stern talking to.
Posted by: Colman | 01/26/2011 at 10:50 PM
Thanks, Zuck.
I like your site too, it's a useful way to stay in touch with friends and that.
Posted by: Colman | 01/26/2011 at 10:53 PM
Take a boo son, take a boo
Posted by: doug | 01/26/2011 at 11:39 PM
Ps Colman, fuck you
Pps Evening, Paul
Posted by: doug | 01/27/2011 at 12:04 AM
MASSIVE twonk
Posted by: Kevin Dryden Donne Chesters | 01/27/2011 at 12:35 AM
I'm truly inspired. Truly. Or is it utterly? And as a consumer of this blog I really feel engaged.
I just chipped in with 2(!) US of A dollars.
My 2 conditions are as follow:
1. You will call your first son (or daughter) Asi.
2. I wish to play superbowl in your ad
Cordially.
A.
Posted by: Asi | 01/27/2011 at 07:05 AM
Asi, you should have negotiated harder, I was going to do that anyway.
Fresh, embarrassing.
Posted by: Colman | 01/27/2011 at 08:12 AM
daim!
Posted by: Asi | 01/27/2011 at 09:16 AM
Morning, Colman.
More importantly, do we have the money yet?
Posted by: doug | 01/27/2011 at 09:43 AM
Good morning.
I just supported your most noble cause with $2 and hope you will teach the kids something about life in the middle. Or use the attention for something like world peace. (Plus I want the same t-shirt that Mr Macfarlane gets.)
Posted by: Thomas | 01/27/2011 at 09:51 AM
Thomas, thank you for your comment and your money.
There's been an issue with the t-shirts, and world peace, but I think I can resolve the t-shirt issue by end of play (not sure about the world peace issue, leave it with me).
Posted by: Colman | 01/27/2011 at 11:04 AM
Do you take cash?
Posted by: John | 01/27/2011 at 12:35 PM
Good afternoon,
I have converted my £0.65 into your $1. When should I expect a copy of your blog to arrive in the mail?
Posted by: Topfife | 01/27/2011 at 12:37 PM
John, let's take that conversation off-line, I think the revenue might be listening.
Topfife, thanks, I might bring it around myself - will be sometime before 7am, in March, if that's cool.
Posted by: Colman | 01/27/2011 at 12:59 PM
Afternoon, thinking about plush toys of the blog. will those be available soon?
Posted by: Tobybarnes | 01/27/2011 at 02:37 PM
Hi Toby, no they won't.
Posted by: Colman | 01/27/2011 at 03:06 PM
Hey this sounds great ! All your readers need good CV market tools.
Now about I write your CV ? We need good write CV and theseis document.
One time and all spell checks.
Best trained staff with full attention and all polite.
www.putacvonit.org.com.net
Posted by: Tom | 01/27/2011 at 03:42 PM
Oh, hi, Tom.
Posted by: Colman | 01/27/2011 at 03:50 PM
You are thinking big. I love this.
Posted by: VicHoon | 01/28/2011 at 01:36 PM
VicHoon, I'm glad you recognize the vision of this thing - you're one of the few.
Posted by: Colman | 01/29/2011 at 08:12 AM
Colman, parting with my dollar was painful. Not the thought of being a dollar poorer, but the hassle of updating paypal credit card numbers, getting charged a foreign exchange fee, etc etc. As one of the world's best advertising people can't you set up some kind of text message number that allows people to donate a pound by simply texting the number? Make it easy and you'll have the money rolling in.
(PS I am still gutted by the bike theft. The best bike I ever owned - if the text donations method takes off, can you buy me a replacement bike?)
Posted by: David Young | 01/29/2011 at 11:43 PM
Can I pay in person? I just want to make sure you're not a Nigerian paypal scamster.
Posted by: Shib88 | 01/30/2011 at 06:35 PM
David, this is not about innovation, I don't have time for that.
Shib88, please feel free to grab me on the bus tomorrow.
Posted by: Colman | 01/30/2011 at 06:38 PM