It's easy to think that life is hard, that that stiff wind in your face is stopping you getting anywhere. That the cards are not stacked in your favour, that maybe you're the wrong side of the middle. Of course we all know there are people who are in a worse position. For whom life is tougher still. You only have to turn on a television, or walk down a street in London at night, to see people truly struggling to get by, taking it one day at a time. But the sad thing is you get used to that. The stories become familiar. Repetitive. Boring even.
Tonight a man called Clive shook me out of that boredom. He rang my doorbell at 7.35pm and then apologised for doing so. After showing me some identification he explained that he'd been released from prison a week ago after serving 6 years. That he'd spent the day calling door-to-door selling cloths, dusters, and other cleaning products. He said he knew I probably didn't want anything he was selling. That he was very sorry to bother me. But that it had been a hard day, with just one sale.
Then he explained that he had wanted to stop banging on doors about an hour earlier, throw everything in the bin, and go home. But that he couldn't, because this was his last chance to make a life for himself. And that no matter how hard it was, no matter how many people slammed the door in his face, he was determined not to give up. All he was asking from me was one minute of my time. One minute to show me what he had. One minute to convince me I really did need a leather window cleaner. One minute to perhaps persuade me that it was worth investing in Clive.
We chatted for a while. He shared some of the bad decisions he'd made in life. Where things had gone wrong, and how he was focused on not repeating those mistakes again. I bought some stuff I didn't need (he was a good salesman). Then he told me he had to get on, that he wanted to get around as many doors as possible before it got too late.
I'm glad he didn't give up knocking on doors. That he knocked on mine. I think I may have needed that minute of his time more than he needed that minute of mine.
Excellent post. Made me think about my default refusal to accommodate any cold callersw. Will you be giving Clive any additional minutes of your tine?
Posted by: John | 11/05/2011 at 12:15 AM
six years? that's quite a stretch.
Posted by: doug | 11/05/2011 at 01:45 AM
John, maybe a little more than I do now, yes.
Fresh, yeah he dropped that in at the end, I think he knew how it would make people feel.
Posted by: Paul Colman | 11/05/2011 at 07:43 AM
a humbling experience, isnt it. fingers crossed clive will get more chances to lead a dignified life, and that he will have the confidence to use them. no idea what he had done, but: the wrong environment - by choice or not, one fatally wrong decision you might not even been aware of at that moment, and thats it. there you are leading a life spiralled out of normality and people looking down on you.
thanks for sharing this story.
Posted by: pr | 11/05/2011 at 03:07 PM
Nice post Paul. Just realised today that you were back 'in the middle'. Clive seemed genuine with a very good sales patter.
Posted by: HARRY C | 11/05/2011 at 03:57 PM
Glad you liked it, PR.
Hi Dad, nice to see you back over these parts again.
Posted by: Colman | 11/05/2011 at 06:20 PM
thank you Paul.
Posted by: Marcus | 11/07/2011 at 09:24 AM
Pleasure, Marcus.
Posted by: Colman | 11/07/2011 at 09:42 AM
Brilliant post and perspective.
I feel better for reading it - I mean that.
When we started our Human_2 thing, the biggest thing we found was how the homeless or disadvantaged just didn't want to be ignored.
Saying "no" to them was fine, but pretending like they weren't there was what undermined their hope, faith, belief and confidence.
I understand why you said you got a lot out of your minute with Clive - but I also think you did something for him too. I hope he gets more people like you answering the door.
Posted by: Rob | 11/15/2011 at 06:45 AM
thanks, paul. glad to see you're in the middle again. and in fine form.
Posted by: lauren | 11/15/2011 at 06:56 AM
Thanks, Rob, it's a good point - treat (all) people like people.
Be in no doubt, Lauren, the middle goes on.
Posted by: Colman | 11/15/2011 at 07:44 AM
It's really nice, and I think that as much as people whinge about Big Issue sellers, they are forgetting the premise: that it's selling, not begging.
It sort of plays on what Rob said too, saying 'no' is fine, but pretending they don't exist is a real killer.
So what a nice cheer up this morning.
Posted by: andrea | 11/15/2011 at 10:20 AM
interesting. what is this human_2 thing rob? what are you doing, and what have you achieved?
i would like to get a perspective on this. so far it is only an observation.
Posted by: pr | 11/15/2011 at 01:18 PM
Hi PR.
Human_2 started off because of a situation I went through that had the same affect on me as Clive has had on Paul.
It was basically me trying to do something that - thanks to my colleagues and a couple of important clients - morphed into a pseudo lobby group against red tape for homeless people who wanted to work.
It wasn't/isn't about raising money or awareness - there's loads who do that already and do it far better than we ever could - so our focus was on finding ways to alter the system [Churches as registered addresses / References from Police etc] because we felt that was what was holding some people back more than cash or awareness. Also, to be honest, it's because a couple of our clients were pretty important and it allowed us to leverage their influence. Nothing big, but important all the same.
Has it been successful?
Depends on your definition ... on one hand it has [so far] directly helped 47 kids get jobs that would not have had a chance previously, but I also accept in the big scheme of things, that's nothing. That said, it was always about trying to change the system that stops people getting work than getting people work - if that makes sense?
It is now managed by the CSR body of one of our ex-clients alongside a charity dealing specifically with the homeless - but what Paul's experience shows, is that big gestures are not vital to make a difference, because the biggest battle is as much about belief and confidence as it is about changing circumstances and situations.
Sorry to write so much, if you want to discuss anything in more detail, please let me know and we can do it in a less public forum.
Thanks Paul for letting me 'steal' your blog for a moment.
Posted by: Rob | 11/16/2011 at 01:15 AM
I've just read my comment - please don't think I'm saying I did a big gesture, I didn't ... I just meant that something as simple as saying 'hello' can make a difference, even though we should/could all be aiming to do a little bit more.
Posted by: Rob | 11/16/2011 at 01:22 AM
thanks for this answer, rob. it really sounds too good to be true. csr projects for clients are so underexplored in the comms industry. its a great way to make money on the side. and makes us all feel a little bit better about our jobs, doesnt it.
Posted by: pr | 11/16/2011 at 01:21 PM
Hi there ...
It wasn't done for a client and we didn't charge a client for it ... it was something I started with some colleagues but saw a client of ours had more capacity to manage it (read: knew what they were doing) as it fell within an existing business group they already had up and running and they kindly agreed to take it on. To be honest I have a fundamental issue with comms based CSR campaigns ... it feels it's being done for the wrong reasons, like claiming tax on charity donations, but yes, it did make me feel better about what I do for a living - which also makes me feel guilty, and I'm not even Catholic.
Posted by: Rob | 11/16/2011 at 03:59 PM